I spanked with Jake, for the same reason I had him circed- I was young, uneducated, and I followed in the footsteps of the generation above me, like most people do. By the time I had Bailey, I had decided not to spank, except for a handful of occasions.
Because your parents did and you didn't turn out bad?
-Well, your parents also may have smoked around you, or let you ride unbuckled on long road trips like mine did, or not put you in a car seat. Yes, you didn't get hurt, but that doesn't mean you couldn't have.
Because the bible says to?
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
The notion that children will only flourish if punished, physically or otherwise, for any wrongdoing.
From the Bible, Proverbs 13-24 (King James Version):
He that spareth his rod hateth his son.
"The much-touted ‘biblical argument’ in support corporal punishment is founded upon proof-texting a few isolated passages from Proverbs. Using the same method of selective scripture reading, one could also cite the Bible as an authority for the practice of slavery, adultery, polygamy, incest, suppression of women, executing people who eat pork, and infanticide. The brutal and vindictive practice of corporal punishment cannot be reconciled with the major New Testament themes that teach love and forgiveness and a respect for the sacredness and dignity of children—and which overwhelmingly reject violence and retribution as a means of solving human problems. Would Jesus ever hit a child? NEVER!" -The Rev. Thomas E. Sagendorf, United Methodist Clergy Retired), Hamilton, Indiana. 2006.
Wow- he hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't say it any better.
Ok, so other than the
biblical instruction to spank, what other reason could you possibly find to want to hit your own child? Does it help? How often do you need to do it? Are you seeing the behavior change for the better? The answer is probably no. Of course the behavior will immediately stop- out of shock and fear, but they will repeat the same behavior again. Why? Because your child is 2, or 3, or 4 and is acting appropriately for their age. They are testing their boundaries. Should you let them do whatever they want? Of course, not! Firm discipline without violence works wonders. Make a timeout area, whether it is a carpet square, or a specific chair or step, be consistant. Consistancy is key in discipline, for it to work. Time-outs can start early. A one year old can sit for a few seconds when they have misbehaved. Remember, one minute per year. So, if your child is 3, they should have a 3 minute time out. Sometimes, you may have to have your child in time-outs a dozen or more times, but isn't that better than hitting your child a dozen or more times. Have you actually seen someone spank a child? I don't mean the freak-show people who beat their children in Wal-Mart, but a normal spanker? It just leaves a sick feeling doesn't it? And it should. Why would we ever want to hurt our children? Why would Jesus ever want us to hurt our children?
One final verse which often gives parents trouble is the verse "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). The word "rod" is used in various ways in scripture, and in the original Hebrew there were eight to ten different meanings for the word. The pole that shepherds used to guide their sheep along the road was called a rod. It was not used to hit the sheep, but to guide them as they walked and keep them on the road. This would correspond to the framework we talked about earlier. It is simply a guide. The shepherd also had a large club called a rod which he used to drive away predators, but it never was used to hit the sheep. God also spoke of the "rod of my mouth" which he used for discipline also. In short, the rod was any article or method used to guide, teach, or discipline. It did not have to be a physical method, either, or God could not have used his mouth as a rod.
This is a very interesting take ont he scripture! Wow- the rod doesn't neccessarily mean to hit the child!
The first thing we need to ask ourselves when a young child is misbehaving is what do they need that I have overlooked? Are they hungry, tired, sick, bored? When Bailey acts bratty, even at this age, I pretty much know that she's either tired or is getting sick. Her body and her behavior tells me something is wrong! I can read her like a book!
How can we possibly teach our children that it is never ok to hit another person, if we ourselves are spanking them? But it's different, right? Wrong.
I hope this has given those of you with little ones some food for thought.